Excerpts from a letter from Young Beethoven (age 32) to his brothers, in the backdrop of him as an aspiring musician, but losing his
hearing, contemplating that “he is worthless”. His Art kept him alive, and the rest we all know.
But, think that for six years now I have been hopelessly afflicted… I was soon compelled to withdraw myself, to live life alone… Oh I cannot do it; therefore forgive me when you see me draw back when I would have gladly mingled with you.
But what a humiliation for me when someone standing next to me heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard a shepherd singing and again I heard nothing, such incidents brought me to the verge of despair, but little more and I would have put an end to my life — only Art it was that withheld me, ah it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce, and so I endured this wretched existence — truly wretched, an excitable body which a sudden change can throw from the best into the worst state.
With joy I hasten to meed death. – If it comes before I have had the chance to develop all my artistic capacities, it will still be coming too soon despite my harsh fate, and I should probably wish it later – yet even so I should be happy, for would it not free me from a state of endless suffering? – Come when thou wilt, I shall meed thee bravely. – Farewell and do not wholly forget me when I am dead… [Heiligenstadt Testament]
Remember, he wrote this at his 32; then shall come like a beautiful hotspring seven symphonies and even at the age of 54, him being completely deaf, shall continue to sit in the Nature’s lap for yet another of his masterpiece. For those who are disadvantaged, my friend,
This too shall pass and from the ashes we surely rise.